Why we need to Change the Narrative

What’s the story you want to tell?

We humans are natural story tellers, and our stories shape our lives, families, communities, and work. We use stories to pass along lessons, wisdom, entertainment, and warnings. Stories live in us and among us. Some cultures and groups re-tell the same stories again and again as myth, legend, and just for the pure pleasure of it. (I’m looking at you, my Irish friends!) We can all remember an excited request: “Hey, Dad, tell that story about when you and your friends climbed the telephone pole to rig up an outdoor stereo for that party in your neighbor’s field!”

Sometimes, however, we get caught up in a bad version of a kid’s camp song: same song, second verse, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse!

My friend and colleague David Whyte says when you are on the threshold of a big change or transformation, you have to get really tired of yourself. That resonated with me when I first heard it because I regularly get tired of my own narrative and want to make a change! I often see my clients circling the same old tired narratives about what’s not working in their companies or on their teams, or why their customers are too demanding. I hear the same song about how management doesn’t speak to the workers, or the faculty won’t work with the administration, or the doctors never listen to the call center. Even if they know what to do, they don’t do it. Why is it that sometimes it feels like you can make that desired change in a snap! And other times, the story just seems to perpetuate itself. What’s the deal?

Here’s the truth: Most narratives are based on beliefs, so if we want to change the story of something, we need to be willing to change our beliefs about that same thing. Our beliefs impact our attitudes and our attitudes often shape our behaviors. It’s like math: Beliefs + Attitudes = Behaviors. If we aren’t open to changing a belief about something, we get right back on the same old story line. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And worse, we get the same results.

Over the coming months, we’ll examine changing the narrative internally, externally, on our teams, and in our conversations big and small. If you want to influence change, then you need to change the narrative! What narratives simply need to change in your world? Let’s start there.